Evolution is a bitch

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

deadline for neanderthal submissions is august 30th by email or post it here. the first issue will be ruff by design. im going to try to have them printed up before my 49th birthday. im celebrating that the week starting september 8th in washington DC
heres my drinking schedule so far, its filling up fast!

9/8-9/10 DC official first stop of the neanderthal north american tour, planning to hop a frieght tr
back to philly to keep my costs down

9/20 NYC farrishes couch tour- old man rugby-

10/27 halloween in doylestown, camping out?

11/07 chicago? satches couch?

11/15 sanfrandiego im staying til i learn to surf.....

12/1 poker at the hollywood park track, bukowski off, quarterly assessment of my business plan.

biz plan- i can live in squalor in south philly for about a grand a month. rent seems silly to pay when i can buy food for people with mortgages and be an amusing dinner companion from the woods preaching my back to the caves lifestyle. if i cant get something going with my one man party act, i will go back to the suck shit lifestyle that 40 hours a week represents to me.. im a 20 hour work week kinda guy, its better for my soul, gives me more time to think

2nd quarter plan is mexico or ecuador, maybe vietnam......

No comments:

Post a Comment

Gambling the Neanderthal Way

Hello and welcome to my little corner of the Universe. A little about me. I broke three bookies in South Philadelphia with my Baseball moneyline Parlays. They don’t take my bets anymore, even when they are messing with the lines. I’m just that lucky. Unfortunately I’m not nearly clever enough to open an illegal online betting account because I live in the USA, and I’m stuck in Pennsylvania for a couple more years. I am dangerously close to having to get a real job. That’s why I was thrilled when the owners of this site told me that they would be happy to pay me when I won and castigate me when I lose. Sounds like we are back in the game, ladies and gentlemen!

I intend to give you three plays a day that I propose you bet as follows, in 5 unit increments.

I intend to start looking at the horse racing leading up to the breeders cup in the fall. I was in Cali for last years , but there was no way I was attending it live, the whole town stunk of Pilates, vegetarians and seven dollar beers. I am sure Santa Anita is happy that my Neanderthal behind stayed out of their pleasure paradise, but it was a lot more fun for me to bet my pupu platter of Euro Invaders, hot trainers and names that the universe was smiling upon from the poker tables at Hollywood Park than it was to pay the prohibitive admission and ridiculous parking fees which instead I put on the table. Even though the bet runner girls were inattentive I still scored a nice three figure payday on Saturday and Sunday so there ya go, there’s my bonifides for horses.

The NFL is where I need to hit every third week to stay ahead of the man. I am all about putting my money to work for me and the power of the parlay. One five teamer can make my month if it’s the right five teams! I look forward to putting a few more bookies out of business. That’s what I do, I keep it simple, and if someone thinks they are luckier than me they are probably right, most days, but on my best days I’m signing tax forms and laughing my way to the single mother support center over by the airport where a man with a pocket full of loot can feel pretty for a few hours.

Gambling the Neanderthal Way- Picks-MLB-Friday, June 28,2013

5 unit 3 team parlay Take Baltimore(-117) Pittsburg (-189) and the Mets (-157)

The Nats are just awesome and have a great looking lineup, but the Mets have their sizzling hot Ace Matt Harvey on the mound and this may be the only competitive game that they play against the Nats. I’m not saying professional athletes have different gears or play any less than 100 percent at all times, or maybe I am. The New York Crowd will cheer every strike in this one and the energy will lift the home team to victory. The Nats will be over confident and Jason Werth will be thinking about the nightlife and mailing it in. I will also wager 5 units on the Mets to win straight up.

Similarly Pittsburg has their western PA equivalent of an ace on the mound in Rookie Sensation Gerrit Cole. This battle of the rookie pitchers goes to the home team on this night. I also like that Ryan Braun is out of the lineup for the Brewers. Again you should also Take Pitts straight up for 5 units.

The third bet is to again take the underdog home team, but this time with the unknown Rookie pitcher. The Yankees haven’t seen enough of TJ McFarland to have a book and him and the rook will be pumped by the start against the hated rival. Look and listen for New York Yankee fans who drove down to Baltimore getting the crap kicked out of them by the Baltimore Faithful. TJ threw 2 innings against the Yankees striking three out and I am looking for that trend to continue. Baltimore can’t afford to lose tonight so again I am putting 5 units on them to win as well.